Being a parent: what's your definition?

Who is considered an unfit parent? And who makes these decisions?

I subscribe to different parenting magazines such as Today's Parent and Parents Canada. I have a Communications background so I enjoy reading newspaper articles, online articles and of course, magazine articles. Once I found out I was pregnant, I immediately jumped on the opportunity to research all the Canadian parenting magazines that were available and became an instant fan. I always seem to find great tips and advice in all areas - cooking, toys, breastfeeding, traveling, potty-training, etc. I will even share the recipes they offer with my close new mother friends. And sometimes, I even learn and expand my knowledge and perspective on adulthood. I hate to admit that I'm ignorant to a lot of things but this topic stuck an unknown cord in my brain.

So when I read last week the article called "The kids are all right" by John Hoffman in Today's Parent July 2010 issue, I had never thought about same-sex marriages and their struggles of becoming a parent. It made reference to court cases in certain parts of the US stating that gay and lesbian couples are not fit to be parents.

2 points Hoffman made were quite valid:

1. Today lots of people, primarily heterosexuals, have children outside of marriage.
2. Homosexual parents have been raising children for years in heterosexual marriages.

I recognize that my acquaintances who are anti same-sex marriages may disagree with this idea due to homophobia, religion and prejudice attitudes. They may not want to read this article. It's quite a short, easy read and I recommend it to anyone like me who never put much thought into this topic before.

Let me know your thoughts and if you prefer, share them privately if you don't feel comfortable discussing your argument openly.

:)

Baby websites: The internet is a good parenting tool and friend

I enjoy writing this blog based on my experiences as a Mom. I've read other parenting blogs and I like learning about their experiences and somehow I can relate to them. It's reassuring to know that all mothers go through similar situations.

However, since I'm discussing my experiences based on my daughter, if you're ever unsure about methods/illness/nursing/feeding/medication, please always consult your family doctor since I'm not a physician.

Below is a list of some of my favourite baby websites:

http://www.babycenter.ca/

http://www.babyontheway.ca/toronto/articles_resources/baby_articles.php

https://enjoytheriderewards.com/default.aspx?c=ca&bhcp=1

http://www.pampers.ca/en_CA/home/

http://www.weewelcome.ca/weeapp/index?N=0&Ne=1

http://www.infomommy.com/

Guess the gender - Fun

http://www.babygenderprediction.com/chinese-gender-chart.html

http://www.babygendertool.com/baby-gender-fun.aspx

Food and Nursing

http://similac.ca/en/

http://www.heinzbaby.com/en_ca/

http://www.lllc.ca/

Government sites

http://www.toronto.ca/health/healthybabieshealthychildren/index.htm

http://www.toronto.ca/registry-services/birth.htm

Applying for Day Care- what they don't tell you

"There is no finer investment for any community than putting milk into babies" - Sir Winston Churchill

Raychel is almost 7 months old so I need to register her into a day care for 4 days a week. My future mother-in-law has offered to watch her 1 day a week so with this assistance (so grateful) I can save $60 a week which may seem like nothing but that's a savings of $240 a month which can go towards her food and other important necessities like diapers, wipes, vitamins, etc.

So if this is your 1st child and you're unfamiliar with the process, you may be missing out on some valuable information. First, if you live in Ontario (since I'm unfamiliar with other provinces policies) and you're a single parent, a parent of a child with special needs, or a low-income household, you may be eligible for government subsidy/financial assistance. This is all great but - like everything else in life, there's "exceptions". If you make a certain amount of income like more than $42,000 you may not be eligible even if you're a single parent.

So let's just say for this purpose/hypothetically, I made last year $42,001.00. Do I qualify? After an interview with a case worker, the verdict is no. So by making that 1 extra dollar, I'm considered to be in a "high income" bracket. Regardless of the fact that I'm not married and just recently moved in with her father. Last time I check, that amount of $$ for a University grad with a good job and with 1 child is not what a lot of people would call a high income household. I am a stronger believer that these financial resources are necessary for individuals who show a need for it and even if I don't qualify, I understand because rules are rules. But if child care on average costs minimum $1,200 a month, that's more than some people's rent for a month. You're working simply to pay for your day care.

Secondly, majority of Toronto day cares take children from 18 months onwards. Mat leave is only for 12 months. So this means that for 6 months, you child has nowhere to go if all the infant day cares (which are limited and extremely booked up in our district) have a wait list a mile long. So it's almost like you need to register 9-12 months in advance in order to be at the top of the list. And what happens if by the time you head back to work and there's no vacancies for your 1 year old? Do you call a Nanny? I bet you don't know how much THAT will cost you...

My best advice is this: during your pregnancy (or NOW), do some research on your municipal website if day cares in your area are not privatized. Call, take a tour, check out their websites and make a list of 4-6 places you like. Do price comparisons, find out their hours of operations, their food menu, daily activities, sleeping quarters, and also if they have subsidy. And most important, ask if there's a waitlist and if yes, sign up!